Sidebar #1

 I get it now.

 Shaky marriages, middle-aged men throwing everything they have at obviously bad ideas, MLM scams, Sex hotlines, Porn channels, Onlyfans, subscription after subscription after subscription...

 I "got it" before, like from the outside, the way one can understand that someone else HAS cancer, but can't grasp what it is to HAVE cancer. But now I have their cancer, too. I am bored.

 Bored is an understatement. I am understimulated intellectually, spiritually, physically, romantically, in every possible iteration, at every possible node, I am not existing I am just - 

There is no identity here, all ego is fraudulent and seems imposed rather than created. The few bastions of respite become altars that the undead shuffle to in reverent worship.  We are neon love on the run, the celluloid the scene is printed on, the spotlight that illuminates.