words and patterns

 When futurists of the past envisioned that in some far flung future we would transmit new information into our minds at lightening speeds the way its done on hardware. It was only obvious to the early elite of the psychedelic community in that day that what would come was not shrinking the amount of time that data is moved, rather expanding the perception of an amount of relative time within a frame of actual time and hyper focusing a doc set in sim, even works with docs on screen or archival prints. Using a mix of hallucinogenic compounds, usually DMT or LSD, with a nootropic or stimulant for hyperfocus. I saw a video once where a heroine learned how to fly a helicopter with a momentary seizure-like reaction. It's a little bit like that, but it takes like 6 hours and you usually end up ralphing once or twice. Not a bad trade off, though.  

 I like New Orleans. Coming from the early days of Hi-Tech, I can still remember what life and interaction were like before it went Viral. New Orleans feels like that, I guess more so than other places at least. I couldn't give up the conveniences of living in a Zone, serviced by Hi-Tech for most needs, but at least there it isnt in your face every minute of the day, humming drone ads abuzz in the night betwixt the stars and skyscrapers of Mega-metropolis Zones like NY and SF. In New Orleans you can still hail a TapTaxi and expect a human to be in the emergency operator's seat.

 In your dreams, the building is on fire. Your arms are jelly, impossible to maneuver, but you manage to save a friend, maybe a lover, maybe someone you happened to think of for too long that day. Your vision is sandbagged, a tunnel with no walls squeezing at your focus.

I'm stressed but I'm dealing with it. It isn't easy, and I don't always feel like it's helping to even be bothered. But other times I feel like I'm genuinely feeling better and doing things to try to make everyday more fulfilling. I'm still getting frustrated really easily so I wanted to write about it. Vin talked to me nearly incessantly about how to play civ, and I can't stop going to a place of frustration about it to the point of getting angry and then it feels like I'm stuck there.