words and patterns

if we are feeling anxious about an upcoming event or want to gain a bit of emotional separation from an experience in order to change our response, we should consider replacing “I” with our name when speaking or thinking our affirmations. https://www.bphope.com/affirmation-vs-autopilot-self-talk-stability-mood-management-bipolar/

 GT MSS nocc 6 UB bags

Started seeing a psych this past week, seeing her again tomorrow. Not loving it but trying anyway. Did a focus group the other day for some money that hasn't shown up yet. Set up appts for doctor and dentist as well. Looking forward to a bunch of bad news. Jars Cam and gt #2 throwing out, took too long and starting to decay I feel like I'm waiting for something that's never coming.

GT #1, MSS to brown rice on 8/23, s2b on 9/23 (2qt container, 1:1 spawn/coir, teaspoon gypsum)

T3 Agar -> Agar: all mislabeled as T2 directly on petri (no tape) T3 Kape -> Kapex2 T3 Camx2 T3 GTx2 GT is probably isolated well enough, Cam and Kape will need more transfers to clean up

Cattle in the field The city in snow Static television channel Clouds and crows A warning and a vision Like flies in milk Not running at all You're standing still

this hold music is like rejected weather channel music  or instead of electrocuting me to death, ive been cocooned in 9v batteries that are all slightly damp

Cushion down soft eyes Lips soaked in fire

 T1 Agar KAPE > .5pt popcorn x2 T1 Agar CAM > .5pt popcorn x2 full remainders of plates used to inoculate condiment container w coco

What good is being right When theres no one left

Someone said it to my face. I sat with her and walked her through her own mind, held her hand as I showed her the way out. When she was safe she turned to me and said I'll never be able to do that for you. It's why no one does. Because they can't. So why can I? And why can't I do it for myself?

   GT agar (w tape) > agar (green tape) (GT-T2)  KAPE agar (w tape) > agar (green tape (KAPE-T2) discarded resuscitated Cambodian agar > agar (CAM-T2) PE6 MSS > agar  out of agar dishes got a martha closet

 i dont know hoiw to disconnect from you

timestamp 2x PE6 agar plates inoc spawn bag is still clean and is developing, more quickly now with increased heat (i think) GTs both coming back well after shake, Cam is also coming back great after shake KAPE and GT plates doing well (or thats what it looks like at least) waiting for plates to fill out before taking any action, want to see the patterns that these genes show

 rearranged the room

 someone is haunting me its true someone is haunting me and they look like you

 i know flies in milk specks against white

 i'll turn the lights off and wait to fall asleep wait for something to happen to me

 yesterday gave gt 1 and 2 a shake and break, today the cambodian the bag was moved to the tv the petris are down to half, KAPE and and GT are showing mycelium, GT still possibly contam

 does a liar's tongue taste any different? i woudlnt know

 even if i wasn't afraid of living im still petrified of giving does anyone understand?

 "She Shoulda Said No!" So in this film stuff happens, so much stuff, and it is insane, but none of that matters. The protag's brother at some point in the film hangs himself. There is a moment of perfect acting in this scene that took me away. The brother is hanging in the garage, long dead from the way the shot frames it,  he was hanging in the garage long dead from the frame of it She approaches the garage and there isn't an immediate reaction There is no immediate reaction. She just sees it. As if it were a meadow, or a curious bug flittering past. Her head leans almost imperceptibly, she is now looking at it quizzically, like there is some knowing to the seeing but there is a disconnect. Like watching a hard drive spin, this is the machine at work, trying to employ a solution to the wonder of what is seen, because the conclusion musn't be the conclusion. There is now a part of the brain that knows what it has seen, and has placed all senses and systems to the

 timestamp both GT, one more so than other, look to be "reaching" tendrils, from what i understand an indicator they need more gas exchange. i removed the foil topping to the one with extreme reaching. going to inquire on a forum for suggestion to increase gas exchnage

 civilizationb  

 if you believe what they say your suffering is sacred

 timestamp PE6 petri contaminated, removed from tupperware and isolated in new tupperware in a seperate room, original tupperware seperated as well from jars *note* tupperware did seem to emit unpleasant odor when checked, suspect this is exhaust gases from mold spores and the smell to be wary of PE6 syringe suspected completely contaminated, may ask for new syringe with next order going to attempt 1-2 more agar MSS inocs to try and get PE6 going tooth hurts

 ghost of tsushima, almost done again no man's sky, big update, wouldnt have noticed really, mostly stuck to the quests i have in front of me time is moving at an unacceptable pace a few weeks ago a day would have lasted 4 years and a week would have been 10 minutes, and that was fine, but now a day lasts for 4 years, and a week somehow flies by in 10 minutes, and i cannot abide

 everything is broken or quickly on its way there i mean that exaggeratedly, but also literally. i suppose the difference is time\\ but yeah cavity > need medicaid for a dentist > depressed > difficult to get organized enough to get medicaid im sick, i have a cavity, and i need therapy, and i am powerless except to get assistance, and i have no idea where to begin

 not keeping up depressed inoculated 4 petris, 1x GT, Cam, PE6, KAPE, this was a few nights ago, the tupperware that the petris are in is dated, each petri is labeled timestamp, the PE6 has white points across the agar, looks like its taking but obviously going to watch it closely as nothing else has any thing going on at all  all 3 jars are still developing well picked up an audio mixing board, fully analog, as well as a 4 track cassette recorder