Saturn

Parents - ungrateful? Am I ungrateful? Is this how my parents see me? Is wanting better ways of living and better communication a bad call? Why don't people like to change for the better? How can you talk to someone who tlwill always think they know better than anyone else? I don't think there is anything I hate more in this world than the sound of my own mother's voice. That's a sad thing to admit and I don't know if I could ever tell that to another person face to face. It makes me feel like a villain in the making. Like a person who's lost their soul. It feels so wrong, and yet all the more appropriate when I look at that reaction as being itself instilled by my mother brought me up, to believe that she could do no wrong and that I should always respect her and her opinion no matter what. To me that doesn't make any sense at all. I have my own son who is an adult now and I would never in a million years treat him the way I have been treated, I'd never speak to him the way I've been spoken to. When he has questions about the world I like to explore the answers with him rather than present my personal opinion or belief as concrete immutable fact that I will be emotionally distraught over the notion of someone not accepting. How do you care for someone like this? How do you stay in their life without getting their toxic sludge of an aura all over your own spirit? 

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