Good Joe

 she'd turn to me and say

"You deserve it"

but not in a mean way

she'd say

you're alone by choice

there's only so much one person can do

and even if you haven't done it

no one is counting.

no one but you.

then she would tell me i'm handsome, a compliment that always lived somewhere in between genuine sweetness and a purposeful rerouting of topic; like a quantum bit, never deciding which it truly is until it truly is. Or was.

I should be writing this with a bottle of whiskey, but I'm not.

Christmas Eve, 2021