words and patterns

A bluetooth mousepad on a keychain for scrolling without touching the phone

I don't know why I wonder about her, but I certainly do. I wonder how her career steered her into the role of a serious Vulcan in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, but five years later she is the lead female in the comedy series Cheers.  Her beauty... her eyes so dusky, big full hair, long contouring eyebrows; she's stunning.  Romeo y Julieta 1875 Bully

 Are sincerity and honesty the same thing? I could ask an AI, and get a thorough answer. I could ask a person, and get a long winded answer. I could ask twitter and get polarizing answers. I could ask myself in a long time, I think maybe he will know an interesting answer.

 The Eagles won the Super Bowl. The Big Game. Someone told me it's illegal to call it The Super Bowl. Someone told me the Chiefs were using magic, but they lost. Someone told me the crowds in Philadelphia would kill each other when the Eagles won. Someone told me that a dancer for Kendrick Lamar's halftime show was arrested for being a pro Palestine activist. I barely watched the game. I'm glad the Chiefs lost. I'm glad the Groundhog, whichever one you might reference, predicted six more weeks. Casual obsolescence.

 Looking around again. Better Call Saul, missing one on ignore, texting one that i don't believe in, ignoring a lot of people. I know it isn't always the right thing to do, but somehow I justify. I'm working towards something, but I've lost all sight of what beyond "more". I need more money to have more space and more privacy to do... what? My fantasies of holing up and re-emerging as someone or something better are waning in the face of the reality that is my age, my lack of connections, and my dissolving ambition.  I am safe, stable, and able. I can do whatever the fuck I want, I just need to want it.